Last Sunday’s discussion about work and careers left me with a new tool to think about these things, which I’m tentatively calling “T-Rex arms.”

In Jiu-Jitsu, there’s an effective but counterintuitive strategy called "T-Rex arms." When someone has you pinned down, it seems like the best thing to do is to try to push them off, extend your arms, and try to make as much space as you can - but if you don’t escape, you make it easy for your opponent to grab your arms and submit you. It’s wiser to keep them snugly tucked in close to your body, like little T-Rex arms, defending your neck, and preventing your opponent from making the situation any worse than it already is. Then the trick is to be patient, conserve your energy, and take small risks, at the right times, which eventually improve your situation. The bigger the risk you take, the easier you make it for Fortune to bring you to ruin. Things may not work out anyway, but it makes all the difference if they fail by our or Fortune's doing.

It reminds me of what Seneca wrote in Letter 14:

"’What then? Can one who follows out this plan be safe in any case?’ I cannot guarantee you this any more than I can guarantee good health in the case of a man who observes moderation; although, as a matter of fact, good health results from such moderation. Sometimes a vessel perishes in harbor; but what do you think happens on the open sea? And how much more beset with danger that man would be, who even in his leisure is not secure, if he were busily working at many things! Innocent persons sometimes perish; who would deny that? But the guilty perish more frequently. A soldier's skill is not at fault if he receives the death-blow through his armor. And finally, the wise man regards the reason for all his actions, but not the results. The beginning is in our own power; fortune decides the issue, but I do not allow her to pass sentence upon myself. You may say: ‘But she can inflict a measure of suffering and of trouble.’ The highwayman does not pass sentence when he slays.”

I think this idea can be useful when trying to find the right balance between staying in the secure job you have now and taking risks to try to get the one you think you really want. Many of us find ourselves in roles that offer financial security but that we aren't passionate about. We have dreams longing for pursuit, but fear the repercussions of diving recklessly into the unknown, especially when we have familial and financial responsibilities.

So, how do we reconcile these opposing paths? One good answer is by pursuing our passions in our free time, but not merely as a hobby, but with deep commitment over a long period of time. By doing this, we can explore and make progress on the things that we’re passionate about without jeopardizing our fiscal stability and family’s security. Like T-Rex arms, this approach enables us to maintain a strong defensive stance against Fortune, making progress in measured, safer increments, securing the happiness we can along the way. This practice also underscores the importance of patience, resilience, and finding contentment within the confines of our present circumstances.